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I am just a guy who has realized he has no talent for animation, so I'll be content to be a spectator. Or a producer.

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This technically unfinished list is a tongue-in-cheek attempt at articulating some things I'd like to see in future games in the RPG genre. I welcome any and all reactions to this, personal, professional or otherwise, including what you would Like To See In RPGs Today yourself. Since I have played over 100 RPGs starting with Ultima IV back in 1988, I feel I have a unique perspective on this, though this list represents only my own personal taste.


I. Orthographic perfection, and not merely perfect orthography. Even one
mistake in the Game is more shameful than defeat by a Slime. (Example of the need for this rule: every indie RPG I have played to date.)

II. If a Thing has happened, even if it was not part of the Plot's
exposition, let it be acknowledged in exposition soon after; e.g., seeing a
Hidden Support Creature or Character physically appear in battle, only to have
it remain hidden and unknown to the other Party Members afterward. (Example of
the need for this rule: Millennium.)

III. Statistics of high proportion; e.g., the absolute weakest of the Healing
Items recovering hundreds of points of a character's Health, the Final Boss
having a ten-digit hit point count, and Optional Challenge Bosses putting even
that to shame. (Example: The Disgaea series.)

IV. Revelations of plot that make the Player need to hide in the bathtub out
of shock and dismay and fear. (Example: EarthBound/Mother 2.)

V. The Main Protagonist shall not be Banned or Exiled from his or her home
village for doing the Right Thing. The Elder or other villagers wishing to do
so must be made to repent of this, and pledge to endure any hardships brought on
by the Protagonist's actions for the sake of the Greater Good, before the he or
she leaves on the Quest. Failure to do so shall result in their own Exile, so
that the Hero may always be able to come home. [Examples of the need for this
rule: Secret of Mana, Wild ARMs (PS1 version), Tales of Symphonia.]

VI. Dialogue that cares not that it is long-winded.

VII. Humor is indeed the soul of Wit, and a witty Game shall be remembered
forever and ever. (Examples: Lunar: the Silver Star, parts of Lost Odyssey, EarthBound.)

VIII. (a) There shall be Success in romance, in non-Dating Simulation Games or
Games with that as a component, between Player Characters. (Examples:
Xenogears, Wild Arms 4, Mother, Final Fantasy VIII, Final Fantasy IX.) (b) There shall be no Cruel Separation of indefinite duration (Examples of the need for this rule:
Final Fantasy X, The Granstream Saga.)

IX. Consummation is not a must, but if it is to happen, it shall neither be
merely Implied nor shall it be "blacked out" before the very commencement of
Foreplay, preceded and/or followed by vague monologue or dialogue. (Examples of
the need for this rule: Final Fantasy VII, Suikoden II, Wild Arms 2.)

X. Player Characters in the Lead shall Comment on every Thing they search,
whether anything is discovered in it or not. This does not apply to objects
like bare walls unless a Flag is to be triggered there. (Examples: Phantasy
Star IV
, Tales of Destiny.)

XI. If a Final Boss is the known enemy, then a Secret Final Boss is the
unknown enemy, and shall not be revealed unequivocally until the known enemy
dies or is defeated. (Examples: Persona 3 and Persona 4, Final Fantasy IX.)

XII. Final and Secret Final Bosses shall have fear-provoking Names, in
moderation. (Example of the need for this rule: "God" in G.O.D.: Grow Or Die.)

XIII. Exotic-sounding invented languages, Written and Spoken. (Examples: The
Ar tonelico series, Final Fantasy X, Final Fantasy X-2.)

XIV. All instrumentals by Barry White & The Love Orchestra shall be used as
Background Music in a particular Game.

XV. The Plot of a Sequel shall not take place one thousand years after that
of the Original, nor shall a Prequel precede it by the same. (Example of the
need for this rule: The Phantasy Star and Lunar series.)

XVI. Let not the Opening fool the Player into thinking he or she is actually
watching Anime.  Addendum: Scratch this.

XVII. There shall be no Rule XVII. Plan XVII worked not so well either, did it, France?

XVIII. Parents of Main Protagonists shall not die protecting their heroic
Child, but shall themselves succeed in bringing Divine Retribution upon the
enemy in ways that exceed Conceiving said Child. [Example of the need for this
rule: Xenogears, Disgaea, Chrono Trigger (message me about this one).]

XIX. Although Gamers are grateful to the Japanese for making these Games what
They are today, certain dialogue Devices peculiar to these People shall be
Eschewed. These Devices that are to be avoided are those that frustrate and
disappoint Character and Relationship Development and Plot Exposition.
[Examples of the need for this rule: (1) a Girl says out loud, but to Herself,
"I think I really do like you..." and the Boy associating with Her then says, "Did
you say something?" causing the Girl to reply, "Er-no! Nothing!" (2) Saying "I
wonder" instead of (a) "I don't believe you," or less frequently, (b) "Um...
nothing. Nothing at all." (3) Sometimes a Character will stammer, "I... I-I... I..."
until some Plot Device interrupts what might have been powerful, satisfying

XX. If real-world Locations are used in a Game, there shall be a reasonable
Attempt made at an accurate and proportional Graphical Representation. (Example: Illusion of Gaia.)

"What I Want To See In RPGs Today" (RPG Humor)

Recent Game Medals

Bloody Bobo 10 Points 00F - Watch abobo get sawed to death on continue screen Medal Stats.
Skynet Stopper 25 Points 06 - Defeat Robobobo Medal Stats.
Mega Blast 10 Points 06 - Use Rage move on level 6 Medal Stats.
Lazertagged 5 Points 06 - Get hit by a laser Medal Stats.
A Winner Is Me 25 Points 05 - Defeat the Amazon with your Rage move Medal Stats.
SECRET MEDAL 5 Points Unlock this medal to see it's details. Medal Stats.
SECRET MEDAL 5 Points Unlock this medal to see it's details. Medal Stats.
Death Blossom 10 Points 05 - Use Rage move on Level 5 Medal Stats.
Bonkers 10 Points 05 - Bonk Amazon on the head before he spits slime blobs at you Medal Stats.
Ballooney 5 Points 05 - Pick up an extra balloon Medal Stats.

Total Medals Earned: 69 (From 6 different games.)